Saturday, October 16, 2004

A new look at life

I am back from the fog. This past week has been full of fear, questions and tears.

Long story short -- I went for a check up last Monday. The doctor discovered a lump in the armpit area, near the breast tissue, on my right side. After some images were taken, they also discovered a small nodule in my left lung. I felt paralyzed in fear. Ever worse? I had to wait until this past Friday for follow up.

I spent the week crying, praying, crying and feeling utterly depressed. I have been through some dark periods in my life. I have had to put on my suit of armor and fall into the Lord's capable hands more than once. I know trials. In my heart, I knew the Lord was with me. Still, the thoughts going through my head were miserable. As a mother, I can't even type the thoughts down here in this note. If you are a parent reading this -- you can imagine what I might have been thinking.......
Thank the good Lord for my loving and faithful Jeff. He was a rock for me during this time (though I know he was very frightened himself).

Anyway, after a long week of waiting - I headed back the doctor. Come to find out, the breast lump is a nasty infected cyst. Gross, but harmless.
The lung nodule is a calcified reminder of an infection I had long ago. Also harmless.
Praise God! Praise God!

Now that I can see a bit clearer -- I realize that I learned a few things over this week. Life lessons I guess? I see a lot of things in a different light. For that, I also praise God. He brought me to a scary situation, pulled me through it, and made sure I learned something in the process.
Go God!

And, if I may? If you are reading this -- please take care of yourself. If something feels "off", get it checked out. Do monthly breast exams! Get adequate medical care. Be your own advocate. Do it for your own piece of mind -- but more importantly, do it for your family.
They love and need you.

With that, I am off to enjoy this crisp fall day. We are supposed to reach a high of 45 today. I will have to bundle up to plant some spring bulbs.

Oh, one other thing. I found out several days ago -- I'm going to be an auntie again. YAY.
My baby sister is gonna be a momma again next summer. I am thrilled for them.
That makes two new babies next year (my sister in law is due next spring). Love those babies!

In His blessed name,


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